How To Deal With Unsupportive Friends and Family

You know, unfortunately, this is a very common problem and there is no easy solution to it.

As you are learning, fitness is definitely a lifestyle, and it’s important to note that it’s a lifestyle not everyone is willing to commit to. It’s a commitment you make to yourself to help you become a better version of yourself. A healthy fit body and mind is a tremendous platform to help accelerate all other aspects of your life in the right direction.

Many times implementing a new lifestyle can be a monumental change from the lifestyle you were leading prior to making the decision to change.

It requires planning, discipline, hard work, sacrifice and especially RESILIENCE.

And on top of that… there are always going to bumps in the road.

A missed workout here, a missed meal there, unexpected events or travels that make it difficult for you to stick your program…and occasionally an unsupportive network of people in your life.

Getting in shape and staying there is hard enough, without friends, family or a spouse constantly trying to hold you back from your goals. It can be extremely frustrating, especially because these are the very people who are supposed to have your back!

The important thing to understand about this is that although you can’t control what people do or say, you can control who you surround yourself with and how you react to peoples thoughts and opinions.

The reality is, most people at heart are competitive beings. With that being said, most people also like to be comfortable at the same time.

This isn’t a good combination.

It’s like saying; “I want to be the best, but I don’t want to do anything to get there.”

It just doesn’t work.

To have success you have to learn to constantly push past your comfort zone and grow as a person. Being comfortable is the beginning of the end.

Anytime people see someone succeeding at something they themselves haven’t been able to accomplish it makes them feel bad about themselves. Everyone has his or her own way of dealing with this when it happens. Some people will be inspired to step up to your level which can be an awesome experience and at the same time strengthen your bond and create an even better relationship.

Unfortunately, this usually isn’t the case.

Most people, instead of working hard themselves to make themselves better, they’d just rather keep you right where you are for their own self-comfort. That way, they don’t have to do any work and they can avoid the feelings of inadequacy you are inadvertently causing them through your own success.

This attitude almost always manifests itself in unsupportive behavior. Such as your friends trying to peer pressure you into a night of drinking or into eating a bunch of shit food that’s not on your plan.

They say things like “C’ mon its only one night” or “One meal isn’t going to hurt”.

They might make fun of you or call you names disguised in a joking fashion for not partaking in their lifestyle.

Sound familiar?

Many times these people simply don’t understand how hard they are making it for you, sometimes they do. There are basically three different ways you can handle these kinds of people.

1. You can ignore them and deal with their comments and opinions.
2. You can try to get them involved with your new lifestyle of fitness and help them take the first steps toward getting in shape.
3. You can cut them out of your life completely.

Creating a whole new lifestyle forces you to evaluate the relationships you currently have. If you have the right ones in your life already, you’ll likely have lots of support for your new lifestyle. If you don’t, it can be tough deciding how to deal with people currently in your circle of influence.

If you find yourself unable to ignore the criticism, try getting those people involved in what you are doing. Many times you’ll find that people just don’t have the courage, strength or understanding to take the first steps on their own.

You may just be the influence they need to get on track with what they really want to do. It’s a lesson in leadership, and there is nothing more rewarding than genuinely helping someone achieve his or her goals.

The hard part is dealing with those who continue to make life hard on you even after you’ve made your goals known as a priority.

These people are the ones who will never understand and they are likely friends “leftover” from your previous lifestyle. If your previous lifestyle included living at a bar every night from 5pm till close they are not likely to have a lot of interest in your new lifestyle of fitness. You’ll probably find you just plain don’t have a whole lot of anything in common with these people anymore… and that’s ok!

It doesn’t make them a bad person… it doesn’t make you a bad person … or someone who is all high and mighty now. You are simply choosing to make a change in your life.

You see, by making a conscious decision to raise your standards for yourself, your standards are now drastically different than those of your old group of friends. They will most likely be unable to relate or understand the reasons why you are doing the things you are doing.

In this case, it’s probably going to be time to cut ties. There is no reason for you to make things harder on yourself by surrounding yourself with people who are a constant negative influence.

If people can’t take the time to understand your goals and are constantly trying to bring you down a few notches to their level you have to question how much these people really care about you.

If you ultimately want to be successful in any area of life, be it fitness, business, relationships or anything else, surrounding yourself with positive people is a must. You need to have people in your life who exude positive energy and support for your goals.

You only have so much energy, whether you spend that energy in a positive or negative way is completely up to you.

So it’s very important not to give your valuable time or energy to those who want to drag you down.

If you do, you won’t have the amount of positive energy you otherwise would have had to propel yourself in the right direction. So hanging out with “Negative Nancy” is only going to lessen your chances of achieving what you really want because it’s going to wear you out and drain you along the way.

Ridding yourself of these people is not easy. It’s tough…no doubt about it!

The reality is, it’s going to be a lot tougher to live with all the regrets and resentment you have toward your friends, family and yourself for not having the courage to go after what it is you really want in life.

The bottom line is: Lots of people hate success and will do whatever they can to derail someone who is creating it. Ignore, inspire, or cut these people out. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of anything you want in life…you only have one of them.

-Andy Frisella

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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